"A little, or a lot?" Steve shoots him a look that's hard to read. "I did some of that, too."
That seems to be all he plans to say about that little bombshell, though, ducking back down to scrape up berries and whipped cream out from under the cart. Depositing the mess in the trash, he rises again easily and heads for the chair where he's left his plate.
"That's what I'm telling you, though, Tony. It wasn't about pleasure back then, it was about...maintaining my sanity." He sits and takes a thoughtful bite of pizza, then sighs internally because it isn't quite right. It's good, but it's not like it was when he was a kid and it was a poor man's food of choice in the summer.
"I had to have some kind of outlet. The experiment changed my entire physical structure and a pretty big chunk of my brain, too. There was no time to learn coping mechanisms. Maybe if I'd stayed in the lab like Phillips wanted me to, but somehow I don't think they'd have been focused on helping me adapt, just picking me apart to retroengineer the serum. I was kind of desperate."
"...not that they weren't all attractive, and most of 'em were sweet to me. Especially the guy in Des Moines. I just...it wasn't enough. Do you get what I mean?"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
momijizukamori![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2018-06-25 03:31 pm (UTC)That seems to be all he plans to say about that little bombshell, though, ducking back down to scrape up berries and whipped cream out from under the cart. Depositing the mess in the trash, he rises again easily and heads for the chair where he's left his plate.
"That's what I'm telling you, though, Tony. It wasn't about pleasure back then, it was about...maintaining my sanity." He sits and takes a thoughtful bite of pizza, then sighs internally because it isn't quite right. It's good, but it's not like it was when he was a kid and it was a poor man's food of choice in the summer.
"I had to have some kind of outlet. The experiment changed my entire physical structure and a pretty big chunk of my brain, too. There was no time to learn coping mechanisms. Maybe if I'd stayed in the lab like Phillips wanted me to, but somehow I don't think they'd have been focused on helping me adapt, just picking me apart to retroengineer the serum. I was kind of desperate."
"...not that they weren't all attractive, and most of 'em were sweet to me. Especially the guy in Des Moines. I just...it wasn't enough. Do you get what I mean?"