It hadn’t been his idea to make Steve look at him like that and Tony can already feel himself closing up over it. The pattern to their relationship is there, spread out in front of them and it’s going to choke this new phase before it can begin. The Tony that hasn’t hijacked the world and destroyed the one he left is only just figuring out that being a good guy is important to him. And the one sitting across from Steve really has to know better by now.
Tony moves the plastic tumbler aside and puts his calloused, aged hand over Steve’s as he fidgets with his own cup. “You don’t have to draw me. And if you do... you don’t have to worry about me being kind. Maybe I would have noticed, maybe his would have happened before now if I did. But I kind of find my regrets after the fact, Cap. I was— Honestly, I was so angry with you when you left that I wanted to blow up your room. I had to help Rhodey, I had to rebuild. And then you sent that letter and that damned phone from the 90s and that’s when I noticed. Noticed everything.”
His head felt exceedingly heavy and he released Steve’s hand to prop it up.
“I blamed the lack of drawings of me on the fact that you were always going to leave. Yeah so I don’t usually deal with inevitable. Your sketch books made me pretty sure that leaving was just easy for you.”
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Date: 2018-07-30 10:40 am (UTC)Tony moves the plastic tumbler aside and puts his calloused, aged hand over Steve’s as he fidgets with his own cup. “You don’t have to draw me. And if you do... you don’t have to worry about me being kind. Maybe I would have noticed, maybe his would have happened before now if I did. But I kind of find my regrets after the fact, Cap. I was— Honestly, I was so angry with you when you left that I wanted to blow up your room. I had to help Rhodey, I had to rebuild. And then you sent that letter and that damned phone from the 90s and that’s when I noticed. Noticed everything.”
His head felt exceedingly heavy and he released Steve’s hand to prop it up.
“I blamed the lack of drawings of me on the fact that you were always going to leave. Yeah so I don’t usually deal with inevitable. Your sketch books made me pretty sure that leaving was just easy for you.”