Oh, God...

[shieldborne]

Infinity War Open Post






THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.

Drop me a prompt, or ask me to drop you a prompt. Open to doomy pre-IW foreshadowing, fix-it AUs, post-IW angst, character interactions that should have happened but didn't on-screen, crossovers, and whatever else anyone can come up with.

Comments

[shieldborne]

He means it, too. As much as Steve loved Bucky, not to mention Peggy and many others, Tony is the absolute best possibility to stabilize him. Because Tony's a fixer. Because he's as stubbornly determined as Steve. Because they can and have lashed out at one another without pulling their blows, because they each see the darkness and the light in the other.

Because they aren't in perfect synch, and they both need the challenge of butting heads to really keep them interested.

Steve has to rinse out his own hair, and for the sake of lightening the mood, he starts humming 'Umbrella' partway through, just to get a reaction. The end result of the shower is as it should be: both clean, no one injured, most of the hot water allotment for their room used up.

"That's weirdly poetic," Steve tells him, nibbling some kind of apple dumpling from the meal cart's bounty (honestly, Tony, how much did you order??). "Nipping it in the bud. Sort of. There are a lot of buds."

"I was thinking," he says slowly, after another bite. "And tell me if I'm crazy here, but when Loki showed up before, he already had the Mind Stone in the scepter. Do we really want to keep that even from happening? What if we...use the Tesseract to lure him in? Destroy both Stones, and when Thor comes to get him--"

Because he will, no question there, and possibly do some really stupid stuff to get to him. "We might have a chance to give Asgard a heads-up on what's coming."

The only problem with this idea is that Loki has proved extremely difficult to contain. And they'd have to break the Mind Stone fast, or risk having it used against them.

[starkingenuity]

Steve’s idea is a good one, but a risky one too. Tony can’t help but see the danger in that scenario, of having to battle on two fronts. It will require playing everything cool and not interfering in anything until Loki makes his play in Germany. Tony finds himself lightly stroking his beard with his thumb from the edge of his jaw to his chin. “We need to be on the hellicarrier before everyone shows up,” he determines, just nodding his head very slowly for a moment as he finds the timeline they’ve already ferreted out of their memories in the pile of papers between them.

People are going to get hurt. SHIELD agents will die and Barton’s going to have to be brainwashed again. At least they know how to knock their controlled agents back to themselves this time around before anything happens.

“Barton ever tell you where their launch site was after Loki was brought on board? If we can get to them before they mount the attack that leads to Loki killing Coulson and unleashing the Hulk, we have a leg up.” Loki will still be in captivity. No one needs to die onboard the carrier. Both stones will be ripe for destruction.

Win-win-win.

[shieldborne]

Steve's inclination in a fight is to play for high stakes. It's served him well in a number of ways, not the least of which is how it leads his opponents to think he's more arrogant than he is. It's bound to catch up with him sooner or later (one might say it already did, with Thanos, but Steve is inclined to believe they were simply hopelessly outgunned in that instance), but if it doesn't catch up with him today, they'll be all right.

He's listening to Tony's reaction, though, just uncertain of himself enough to want the feedback, both spoken and unspoken. It says a lot that Tony didn't even start by giving him a you've-lost-your-mind glare. Of course, Stark plays high stakes, too.

"Might not be able to use our appearance to get there," he says, nodding back.

"Barton didn't tell me about it. He didn't want to talk, and I don't blame him. But he was debriefed, and Romanoff and I had a personal interest. We helped with cleanup. Where's the map, I can show you--"

He rifles through papers, jaw setting slightly as he lets the idea really sink in. It involves allowing a lot of deaths they could prevent. He doesn't much like that aspect, but it was his own suggestion. Playing God, picking and choosing who lives and who doesn't, makes it worse. And yet: "We better try and make sure Coulson lives. They're gonna need him."

Because after this, SHIELD is going to have to ferret Hydra out of itself, preferably without massive casualties. Steve can't help with that this time, although he has no doubt his other self will want to.

[starkingenuity]

This whole mission involves playing God, otherwise they would have just focused on rebuilding the world that they were left after their defeat and moving on. Instead, here they are, moving back. It’s a fine look for a guy whose whole business model is playing God. Tony’s done some crazy things, created some crazy things, and caused a lot of crazy things. He can’t really comment on this. Besides, all they’re doing is saving people that had already died.. Even one person left alive that was supposed to have died will change the course of the future. It could be for the better. It could be so much worse.

All Tony does know is that nothing will be worse than if they let Thanos get his hands on all of the stones. They have a fighting chance if they destroy one and double the odds again if they destroy two.

Tony has a sudden, romantic idea of becoming space pirates with Steve, hunting down the other gems, and visiting strange new worlds when this is over. And why can’t they do that? Tony already had all of the data gathered from the Chitauri and Thanos’ invasion stored in FRIDAY’s databanks. He can whip up a space faring craft in a—

Huh. So they’re going to have to get away from the snap analogy from now on.

Looking over Steve’s map, at the pinpointed location where the trap Loki set is to be sprung from, Tony gives a little shrug. “So this is easy. We monitor the hellicarrier’s channels and the moment the other you and I catch Loki, we destroy this base. Just the equipment. There’s no need to get fancy just yet.”

((I loled at the snap analogy.))

[shieldborne]

See, Steve's romantic idea is more along the lines of finding somewhere quiet in the country where they can build or renovate a big studio space that's half his art and half Tony's engineering. Except realistically it would end up being one-tenth his art and nine-tenth's Tony's space, because watercolors don't require as much workspace and he just has this feeling Tony's inclined to spreading out. That's kind of a long way from Space Piracy, but maybe he could be talked into it. They won't really belong on the planet, anyway.

So much for the off-Broadway musical, though.

"We're probably going to have to face Barton," he observes. "But apparently if we hit him really hard in the head he'll snap out of it."

They'll just need the element of surprise there, because if he gets one of them in his sights...well, he never misses.

"So, we can hit the Cube there, before they use it to open the portal to the Chitauri army." That's good. That'll prevent a lot of damage. "And then what? Get up to the helicarrier and destroy the scepter from there?"

Haha, there's the part that'll get interesting, because it'll be right under Tony and Banner's noses, with various other Avengers and SHIELD personnel in close proximity. Some part of Steve--the part of him that enjoys trolling, perhaps--kind of wants to do that just to see the reactions. His lips press together in a thin line, but it's not sternness or disapproval. He's trying not to laugh.

((Thanos ruins everything))

[starkingenuity]

“Going to have to, but we’ll have to tiptoe around Thor until we do it. That axe used to be his hammer, right? He’s going to be able to do his stringless yo-yo trick and that could get messy.” Tony would pin the blue ribbon for most things on Steve’s chest, but strength and the pseudo-mystical properties that came innately in Thor would steal the prize away from the man sitting across from him, swallowing whatever had just tickled his fancy. Tony’s eyebrows lift in interest, though he doesn’t ask why Steve looks so amused, nor does he really expect an answer.

There’s allowed to be mysteries between them yet.

“I remember how stubborn you used to be, so I’m thinking that we’re going to have to talk to you.” He lifts a hand before Steve can protest. “Stubborn,” he repeats before adding, “and more understanding. I won’t listen to reason. I think I spent the entire time with Banner trying to get him to embrace the part of himself that killed a few hundred people in Harlem. I don’t trust me.”

And Tony’s come a long, long way to be able to say that.

[shieldborne]

Steve shakes his head. "No, I don't know what happened to Mjolnir. Stormbreaker is new, from scratch, and that's probably why we were able to talk him into letting it go. Made in the same place, by the same guys, though, from what he told me. But you're not wrong--he still might be able to call it if it occurred to him to try."

Steve doesn't think it would, though. Not right away. Maybe if he got a close look, read the runes on the edges, made a couple educated guesses. The power of the two weapons might blend or conflict in strange ways, though, and neither he nor Tony wants to have to fight Thor. Been there, done that, almost died. Once was enough. "I'm happy to avoid him as much as we can. At least until we can be sure he'll talk to us and not attack us."

He raises an eyebrow at Tony's suggestion that they approach his younger self. "You, uh...okay, there's a lot to unpack there."

He's not sure Tony's approach to Banner was entirely wrong, in retrospect, just incredibly foolhardy. But it doesn't matter right now, that's not the topic at hand. "I remember the state of mind I was in. If we just walk up to me and tell me we're from the future, I don't see that going well."

He was already overloaded with the newness of the world around him. Dumping all the crazy shit they've been through since on him--'the world ended, and also, Bucky's been alive being tortured by Hydra for the last several decades but I went and let him die again'--Steve isn't sure how he would have reacted, how his younger self will respond. He's pretty sure there's going to be a lot of anger, though. Pure, righteous rage. The universe isn't supposed to be like this.

On the other hand, he can imagine how Tony would react at this time in his life. Trouble brewing? No problem, I'll fix it before it gets here. And then another Ultron.

(That's a little bit unfair. He's acknowledge how shaken up Tony was when Ultron came into being. But it's still a valid concern, and they don't want to set either of them up to become the monsters they're trying to defeat.)

But they're going to need to relay certain truths to themselves eventually. Steve is silent a moment, trying to reach for an intermediary, someone his younger self would trust, to soften the blow they're going to have to deal him. Peggy? But she's unwell, and they can't just pick her up and take her to the helicarrier. Natasha? But she wouldn't trust either of them. Same with Coulson.

Tony's right, he concludes uncomfortably, at last. "God, I hate being the best guy for the job by default, but I can't think of a better solution."

[starkingenuity]

“It’s all need to know,” Tony says, not exactly reading Steve’s mind, but he can read that expression of his. If you spend enough time getting around your own issues and try to see someone else’s, it’s strange how apparent they become. “We don’t have to go into details, just that the Tesseract and the staff are going to be used to destroy the world. Everything else-- Stop it. You look like a kicked dog, Rogers, there’s nothing else we have to tell him. Who do you trust more than yourself?”

Tony knows flat out that he probably wouldn’t trust himself at all. Steve’s different. The guy’s a proven liar (for a good cause) and somewhat manipulative in his stubbornness, but no one in their right mind would do anything other than trust Captain America. Especially Steve’s younger self.

It’s going to fine, Tony thinks.

Hopes.

It’s going to be fine.

“Every other wrong that we have to right—” He’s talking about HYDRA, about the Winter Soldier, about Extremis, and about what’s being done to Wanda and her brother – “we do that ourselves. The rest of us are going to have other things to worry about that doesn’t involve government conspiracies. We fix what we can, feed information about what we can and-- I can’t believe I’m saying this, after that we’re hands off. Shaping the world is where it gets messy.”

[shieldborne]

"I'm not a kicked dog; I'm thinkin'," he protests with a little frown. "And there's some things that aren't going to be avoidable. Even if we don't tell the other me, the other you isn't gonna rest until he ferrets out everything he wants to know. You sure we shouldn't tip him off, first? Even anonymously? You were already hacking SHIELD's files on the carrier. A little nudge, a little deeper without interruption and you might've found Hydra's stamp all over Project Insight. And that needs to happen before they do part of Thanos' job for him."

He takes a breath, and despite his protest there is a flash of the kicked puppy when his brain turns to Bucky. "If we can get the Winter Soldier while he's in cryo, everyone's job will be easier. But no one's better equipped to control him than me. The other me, I mean. I...can't."

Can't see him again. Can't lose him again. Too much.

He shakes his head and sets his plate aside abruptly, rising to get some coffee. "Guess we just drop him on other-me's doorstep and back off from there. You're gonna have to tell me what you want to do about your stuff."

"I'll tell you what, though. This was a pretty brief window in my life, but starting here and ending after the Winter Soldier affair, I was pretty willing to follow orders without asking too many questions. We can use that, and your tendency to do the exact opposite."

"But he's going to be angry. Me, I mean. You better let me run interference."

[starkingenuity]

Tony shakes his head here and because Steve is starting to get the Cliffs of Dover look on his face again, he reaches across the paper work and the paper plates to cup the blond’s neck. He craves attention no matter the circumstances, so this is all pretty usual for him anyway. When blue eyes meet his, either with pleading or annoyance, Tony will lightly thumb the edge of his ear and then sit back. “We’re jumping too far ahead. I like chess, but we’ll have time to pick up the rest of the end game and plot strategy.”

To be honest, Tony doesn’t really want to deal with Bucky now. And maybe not for a long time. It’ll be a few years before the Winter Soldier is reactivated, right? He’ll sleep, undreaming, while Tony makes sure that Barnes won’t manage to worm his way back into Steve’s life. The blond might be able to share, but Tony has never even tried to fool himself about that aspect of his personality.

He’s selfish. He likes being selfish. He’ll guard being selfish until his last breath.

“We can work on feeding me information on everything. FRIDAY is more advanced that JARVIS ever will be. It’s going to be easy to block myself from what I don’t want me to know.” Tony shakes his head. “This is confusing.” He wants to smile, and he tries, but it’s half hearted.

They both have a lot of baggage here.

“We have to make sure the other me doesn’t know about us meeting with the other you. We’ve got to do it before Loki shows up, before anyone gets to the hellicarrier, so that we can count on him to get us the scepter once it happens. Did you go back to that church before this mess? I’ve read that you’ve got an eidetic memory?” But it’s been years since all of this happened for them. How could Steve remember his own movements when they hadn’t mattered until SHIELD sent him to handle Loki in Germany?

[shieldborne]

Steve's reaction to the touch against his neck is gratifying. He's halfway to his feet, but he stills and his eyelids half-lower, like some kind of instinct is telling him to get as much of that as he can while they have a quiet moment. It's stabilizing--not stabilizing enough, perhaps, but helpful--and he gives Tony a flicker of a smile, straightening when he lets go.

Tony's right, though. Steve has been operating under a driving need to get everything settled and handled right the hell now, like he expects them to have to leave right after they deal with the Tesseract. Like he's trying to get his goddamn affairs in order. Again, that's probably something instinctual, or maybe psychological damage, but Stark's promise that they have time comes as a minor revelation. They have nothing but time.

There's a single-cup coffee pot on the counter, and Steve sets it up while Tony talks, trying to examine his own assumptions. He wants Bucky out of Hydra's clutches yesterday. There are few things that torture him more than remembering how wrecked he was when Steve plucked him off Zola's experimental table the first time, and imagining that times seventy-plus years.

But they have to be utilitarian, here; attend to the mission at hand first, before the window of opportunity closes. And he's not being tortured while he's in cryostasis. Any time they get him before the Lemurian Star hijacking is a net gain. Steve pushes it out of his mind, for now, devotes himself to the problem at hand, and the man at hand, once again.

This time his smile is grim. "Yeah, eidetic memory. I wish I could forget some things. But I could tell you what the other me is having for breakfast today, how long his morning run is, and what time he'll be heading for the local cafe to sketch..."

He peers at the nearest alarm clock, which displays the date as well as time. "Church is a good idea. He'll be there from about eleven-thirty until two or so before he heads back to the gym to punch things."

[starkingenuity]

It’s still dark out. Dawn hasn’t decided to rise and Tony has no real need to get out of bed. Not even for coffee. He watches Steve’s progress, watches him carefully as if looking for cracks in the foundation. There are a few but nothing structurally dangerous anymore. Patches will work for awhile, until he can actively work on repairs. He had a feeling that he lied to Steve in the shower. He doesn’t need love so much as a project, one that isn’t going to leave him, even after construction is complete. Maybe that’s all love is sometimes, a desire to offer support and guidance—

What a ridiculous thought, Tony doesn’t need to poison himself with those.

He gathers up the papers into a pile fit for a man with latent and recovering OCD, sets them to the bedside table, and crawls back up towards the pillows to finish what’s on his plate.

He could use something else, something sweeter, but the cart is too far away and besides, he likes the show.

“So we have six hours before we have to leave to get back over there.” Six hours isn’t a lot of time when they have four days until an invasion and a complicated plan involving a lot of unknowns. Tony doesn’t care. He can probably build a plane with sand and cactus needles if he has to, do why waste a perfectly good bed while they’re both here?

Tony drops his voice noticeably, the tone a deeper register.

“Come back to bed.”

[shieldborne]

If Steve knew he was being analyzed like the chassis of some sort of exotic vehicle, he might feel weird about it. Tony's engineering-brain, and its processes, are a little beyond his comprehension. Steve gets Tony's heart, maybe even his soul, but his mind is multifaceted and operates on a level most human brains don't. Not even serum-enhanced ones. Steve's never liked feeling dehumanized, but it's not quite the same thing, is it, when it comes from a guy who can almost render himself down into a series of equations?

Regardless, Steve isn't expecting or asking for Tony's love in return for his. It's a relief to be able to give and express, and he's waiting to see if Tony decides he should've been more careful what he wished for. Steve's passion isn't exactly destructive, and the bad things that have happened to the people he loved have been incidental, not a direct result of his affection, but still. It's not like he's done anyone any favors.

Six hours sounds like plenty of time to Steve, but he's used to having to think on the fly, and he doesn't have to work too hard to recollect where he was mentally at this time in his life and settle on an approach. The coffee is probably unnecessary, as well. He's already had the sleep he needs to get by. So if Tony's going to flirt--

That was a flirt, right? That definitely sounded like a flirt.

"You coming onto me, Tony?" He pointedly gives up on his coffee, headed back to the bed without hesitation. His body language is loose and soft, but his eyes are going laser-focused. "We only had the one condom, remember? You got something in mind?"

If so, Steve is clearly on board.

[starkingenuity]

((Booooo this never posted!))

There’s a lot more to do together than just penetration, and Tony knows that Steve knows it. He’s got this feeling that the younger man is just feeling things out, maybe testing the waters on Tony’s reaction to things. He hasn’t quite pegged the blond yet himself either. He’s dominant and submissive at the same time, and while tony isn’t thinking of the guy in those generic sorts of terms, he’s building the formulas in his head to give him some sort of indication of where the other man falls on a sliding scale of possible kinks and sexual tastes.

It’s more than just being a giver on Steve’s end. And the sex is more than just an emotional band-aid or a plug for the missing pieces they’ve lost. It’s in Tony’s nature to figure things out and since he can’t Jack Steve into a computer terminal or open up a control panel in his head, he’s got to access this data a different way.

He likes it. It’s not easy, it’s not cut and dry. The blond is a genuine challenge.

Tony shifts so that he can rest the back of his head on his arm, the stretch in muscle defining his chest better. He’s a lot older than he had been but Tony thinks of himself like scotch or a prime steak. Sometimes it’s just better with age.

Dark eyes watch Steve come towards him and there is no doubt that the inventor is hungry for something more than the food he’s decided to ignore. His free hand rests on his chest where the reactor used to be, fingers slowly moving down towards his navel and the waistband of his boxers.

“I didn’t get much of a preview before we started,” he grins, more sultry than silly.

[shieldborne]

Steve is aware of a number of things they can do, some of which are an acquired taste, and whatever this is between them is new enough that he'd rather tread lightly than risk alarming Tony. His own instincts in bed are lavishly emotional, even sentimental, whether he's assuming a dominant role, a submissive one, or neither. Possibly sex for him isn't just an outlet for physical urges and repressed anxiety, but also an acceptable way to channel the need to give and receive affection he denies himself thanks to the era he comes from. His sensibilities are well adapted to the modern world by now, but some anachronisms remain.

So his eyes are focused and fiery as they sweep down Tony's body to watch the path of his hand, but this time the look is less dark, almost more worshipful than predatory. He stands next to Tony's hip, resting one hand on his thigh and stroking slowly as if he's tracing the outline of the muscles there. "Preview as in foreplay or as in you think you wanna see me dance? Because if it's the latter, you're gonna be disappointed. I definitely don't dance."

Well. At this point in his life he could probably fake a foxtrot or a slow dance with a partner, but it would not be sensual.

Oh, wait. There is a third option here, and with a little smirk, Steve hooks his thumb under the waistband of his own underwear and nudges them down his legs. "I get it, you're trying to prove to me jerking off won't make me go blind, is that it?"

He's a little hard, but far from fully erect at the moment, grasping himself in a matter-of-fact, perfunctory way and watching Tony's reaction. "You only just took my virginity, Tony; maybe you better give me some more explicit directions."

[starkingenuity]

All Steve needed to say was ‘explicit instruction’ for Tony’s grin to widen. He’s not by any means old fashioned and while he’s enjoyed a lot of different things over the years, he’s never gotten tired of being bossy. Having people do what he wants is at the core of his being, if mostly just to leave him alone so that he can work or enjoy himself. Usually, those two are the same things.

What he wants from Steve is many fold, not all of which, he realizes, is outright sexual. Steve stands for something in his life, not all good but certainly not all bad either. He’s a paragon, something to aspire to be so that his father (and the world) might love him best.

He doesn’t want to degrade Steve, exactly, and he’s not interested in revenge, but he does want to win.

“I don’t want you to touch yourself at all,” Tony says without a hint of coyness. He pushes himself up onto his elbows. “I’ll decide when you get to come. If you get to come. I’m just trying to live up to my selfish reputation here, Rogers.” Tony says, a slow smirk on his face.

Shit. This shouldn’t be so much fun.

“I want you to suck me off. Slowly. Make it worth me while. And then we’ll see if you get a reward.” Is that a little too daddy-son or teacher-student scenario? Steve is much younger than he is, but Tony isn’t into that particular kink. He just wants to fuck Captain America’s face. Is that so wrong?

[shieldborne]

Sometimes, Steve likes to troll. It's fun, when people see you as the All-American Boy, to turn their expectations of wholesomeness against them and shock them with something comparatively filthy. And that's what he was trying to do just now, obliquely offering to masturbate for Tony to watch. Nothing he hasn't done before, but the suggestion would raise eyebrows from most of the people who know him. And before tonight he's pretty sure he'd have gotten the startlement he was looking for from Tony.

But now they've fucked (or made love, or both). And they've been more honest with one another than has ever happened before, and it might be an exaggeration so say Tony has his number now, but he's apparently moved past shockability and then some, because he just flips the tease right around and back on Steve and the result, half-order, half dirty talk, takes his breath away.

Steve's eyes got very wide, and he's struck speechless for a couple seconds. Both of his hands drop to his sides, though, as if his body's made the decision to obey before his brain even catches up with it. He looks...hungry. Needy. Tony's taken a shot and hit a bullseye.

"Is that so," he rasps, and there's no teasing inflection in it. It's not a question, it's an affirmation. He clears his throat, flush beginning at his ears and creeping rapidly down his neck. "On my knees, or on the bed?"

If there was any doubt he's into this idea, the reaction below his waist ought to allay that fear.

[starkingenuity]

“On the bed.” They could be talking about the plan, the tone was so conversational and so matter of fact. They could be talking about a television show or an article on a website. They could be discussing the finer points of the Coke versus Pepsi debate. Tony crosses his legs at the ankle, shifting s little to get comfortable. No big deal, right?

He can and has been reading Steve’s body language with a mental notepad at the ready, recording details on each reaction he sees. The big picture isn’t quite apparent yet, which makes this puzzle so worthwhile. That, more than their strange, off beat relationship or the lengths that they need to go through to save the universe, has his mind ticking like an atomic clock. Precise. Incessant.

Tony lifts his head so that both of his arms can be used to leverage his upper body at a slightly more acute angle, providing himself the visual stimulation he can’t help but enjoy. Most men, he imagines, likes to watch their dick disappear into the mouth of another person and Tony is no different there. In order to achieve that goal, however, Tony needs to rid himself of his boxers.

Or, more accurately, he needs to have Steve do it for him.

“At ease, Soldier,” he teases in a direction for Steve to take his hands out of the picture entirely. “And double time on undressing me. It’s going to be light soon and I don’t have voice automated blinds here.”

[shieldborne]

It's quite a contrast from a few hours ago, when Tony was in his arms begging for more, Steve reflects silently. A different game? Testing the waters? It's a relief to give up control, honestly, and he's not ignorant of the dynamic that's bubbling up between them now, so Tony isn't going to freak him out this way. There's a little tension in his shoulders when he moves to tug Tony's underwear down, but he's gentle. He could just rip right through the fabric, and he's contrarian enough that he considers it briefly, but no. He really...doesn't want a fight. Not even a friendly one.

"Can we not, with the military talk, though?" He asks quietly. "Not like this. I can take it as a joke outside the bedroom, but it's...fraught."

He gives Tony a strangely timid glance, half apologetic, because he doesn't want to break the mood. "You're good with nicknames; I'm sure you've got something else."

That request made, he clambers onto the bed and kneels between his calves, leaning in to nuzzle and make delicate, teasing licks up his inner left thigh. It's reminiscent of the way he was worshipping his hands before, by the wall, while Tony attempted to undo his own belt and fly. Evidently it's a thing with him.

[starkingenuity]

There’s a lot here that can break a mood, and Tony has said some pretty insensitive things in the past, so being asked to keep the talk less regimented (pun intended) wasn’t something to spoil the mood. Steve wanted to be Steve with him. He’d said as much during their heart to heart, hadn’t he? He doesn’t want to be Captain America. Captain America is a part of him but not the sum. And he’s come a long way from the Army.

Despite Steve’s insistent nuzzling, perhaps because he’s trying to deflect a bit of what he said there into pleasure so they can enjoy each other without having to discuss it further, and despite Tony not being turned on enough to ignore where Steve’s mouth has been or where it is going, Tony pushes himself down, between Steve’s straddling legs, and pulls up his face with his hands at the same time.

He can give gentle, affectionate kisses too. It’s not just Steve’s wheel house to be the romantic sort. Tony might not be great at grand gestures, but he’s learned that it takes more than huge gifts and money.

“No nicknames,” Tony murmurs against now damp lips, arms around too broad shoulders. “You’re just Steve here.” There. Grand gesture. Tony’s somewhat proud of himself.

[shieldborne]

Steve doesn't ask for much, when it comes down to it, in the way of concessions to his feelings. And he genuinely doesn't mind the half-playful, half-scathing monikers outside the bedroom. 'Capsicle' is actually one of his favorites, despite the unpleasant event it references. He's been frozen, Tony probably thinks he's got a wooden stick up his nether regions--or at least he must have before tonight. It's clever, it's funny, it's catchy. But here, he'd rather err on the side of sweetness, and when Tony responds in kind, any hesitance he had ebbs away in a rush.

He looks a little surprised, but kisses back with a quiet moan and sigh. There. Yes. That's all he needs.

He nuzzles into Tony's neck, smiling. "I like that. You're still in charge, though. Whatever you want, I want, just say the word."

[starkingenuity]

Steve’s in charge too much. Tony likes having the reigns. Yes, he runs a company (ran, really, and Pepper has always done so much of the heavy lifting that he can’t take all of the credit), but running a company isn’t always about being in charge. Neither is leading a team in many ways—

He lets his mind to mind run with that for awhile and sticks it on the back burner, on simmer, because he can’t just let it completely drop, but he also doesn’t want to let it get in the way of these moments.

“Of course I am. Respect your elders,” Tony teases instead, as he can’t help himself in that way. He could tell Steve to carry on, but now that he’s firmly beneath him and Steve’s weight, a small portion of it at least, is on him, Tony doesn’t want to lose this sensation to a blow job. No matter how good.

It has nothing to do with submission or dominance, of feeling confined in any way. Steve just feels real and he feels present and more than anything, that is what Tony needs.

“Get these off,” Tony demands, hands slipping down Steve’s waist towards his underwear. His hands coast beneath the elastic. His desire to be selfish (or himself) has ebbed neatly away. “You can jerk us off together. Probably will keep you from going blind if you’re not the only one getting anything out of it,” he concludes.

[shieldborne]

Power dynamics can be terribly ambiguous. Steve views his charge of the team as a tremendous responsibility; he gives orders, sure, but in the end he's supposed to make sure there are no unnecessary sacrifices, and to never ask anyone to do what he won't do himself. A commanding officer has to balance protecting his team with trusting them to do what they know they can accomplish. Done the way Steve tries to do it, it's almost a nurturing role, hence his tendency to quiet, warm (and potentially somewhat annoying) pep talks.

Of course, he's also way worse at taking orders than his military history would suggest. That may or may not extend to the bedroom--certainly he seems to be amenable right now--but dominance versus submission between them, whether deliberate or informal, could end up being a tricky little dance. Then again, that might make it more fun.

Steve gives a quiet, uncomplicated little laugh at 'respect your elders'. Even age is ambiguous with them, isn't it? Steve is chronologically older, but with less life experience since he was unconscious for the vast majority of it. But both of them have seen some shit, that's for sure. There is a strange sense of comfort, though, in Tony claiming seniority. He kinda likes that.

"Yes, sir," he says, just a little bit coy. Because 'sir' doesn't have to be military, after all.

Unfortunately, he has to back off a little in order to get the underwear off, but once that's handled he returns to the position he was in like there are magnets drawing them together. He licks his palm before wrapping his hand around the both of them, leaning his body over Tony and resting his weight on one elbow. "Like this?"

His eyes meet the other man's, watching for discomfort or fear, but half cuddled-up and having his dick stroked lovingly is hopefully as far from a callback to trauma as they can get. "Does that mean you're gonna let me come, or have you not decided yet?"

[starkingenuity]

If emotion is something to push down, something to hide and to examine only when the collection jar is full and that the weight of everything inside of it has compressed and distorted each individual piece, then Tony’s jar is about ready to explode into shards and ruin. Sex was supposed to be a vehicle for safe release, to be a valve to maintain the pressure at meaningful levels. Sex before the world ended really had been just that. Sex now that he’s one of only two people alive with the only other person alive, despite being surrounded by other alive people trapped six years perpetually in their past, is incredibly emotional.

He has no frame of reference for this. He has positions and pleasures and muscle memory of what this should be like, but his brain has a tripped a circuit along the way. He knows he should tease. He should deny Steve pleasure, he should be in charge and be present and be the god damned leader for this ritual of intimacy. But he can’t. All Tony can do is shake his head, and then nod his head, before his arms wrap around Steve’s neck and his fingers press against his spine.

There is work to be done. Dangerous work, work with the biggest stakes they’ve ever faced and a reward that they can simply never enjoy. There is another Tony, maybe in his workshop, maybe on a mission, maybe having sex with Pepper on the floor of a building almost finished construction. There’s another Steve too, sleepless, hitting a bag filled with sand, feeling the pressure of loss great enough to destroy most people and using it to throw each punch.

When the world turns to dust and then carries on like it’s never happened or going to happen, all Tony wants to do is connect.

Sex is a connection. It’s not a release. It’s not a pleasure. It’s a bond. It’s a promise. “We do everything together,” he whispers, kissing while he speaks or before he speak or after. Maybe all three. If he’s going to come, Steve must do so too. And if he’s going to survive any of this, he can’t do it alone.

What he wants is to feel the blond inside of him again. Or he wants to be inside of the blond. He wants the grittiness, the shared breath. He wants to lose the safety net too. The propriety of safety to this bout of pleasure. Maybe he’ll demand it next time. There’s always going to be a next time, until he physically is incapable of it. It’s not comforting to him the way it is to Steve that he’ll return to the same dust as everyone else, either literally from Thanos’ snap, or the act of murder that they had committed by erasing their present to replace it with a new version of their past.

It’s going to be a long early morning. Tony comes first, and when Steve’s hot semen explodes across the pattern already marking his chest, Tony feels better. The jar hasn’t exploded and the emotions packed inside of it haven’t been too badly compacted. He’s freed some, made space for more. It helps that Steve loves him through this. Love is the best connection a man can hope for. It’s a tether Tony doesn’t mind having attached.

The sun is up when the act is complete and Tony, for once, doesn’t wriggle away to clean up. It’s a monumental leap, more than letting Steve make love to him could ever be. He doubts the blond understands that.

[shieldborne]

It's probably Steve's fault in some indirect way, like so much of what they've been through together. He moves through the world on his own terms, in his own path, and everything around him ripples and shifts in his wake. His ethos has weight; his passion has more. Maybe decades ago when he was first going down on chorus girls he was able to do it without overflowing with tenderness. Probably not, though.

He's been stripped of everyone and everything. What remains is one mission and one man. Tony is in the somewhat risky position of being the only outlet Steve has, the only outlet he will have, for his affection. It might feel good or it might be overwhelming. Or both. Either way, getting away from emotions through sex is unlikely.

Especially when Tony looks up at Steve like this, playful cockiness falling away into a perfect echo of what Steve himself is feeling. Emptiness reaching for emptiness, craving to be filled. And they can do that, even if only for a few moments. Even if they may end up breaking one another in the long term, here they are, and Steve aches with it.

"Everything," he promises, kisses back, lips to lips, and then slides his arm gently under Tony's shoulders, holding him closer. And he doesn't stop there, kissing his cheeks, under the hinge of his jaw, as far down his throat as he can reach without disrupting the stroking his other hand is doing. "Everything. I promise."

This one, he'll keep. There's Bucky, trapped somewhere, and he won't forget about saving him--but this Bucky belongs to the other Steve. There are a hundred things he can think of that they should change, lives to be saved and evil to be destroyed. They can do that together. They can put one another first. They have to.

He wants to.

Same as earlier, he murmurs endearments to Tony as they move together, and he'd be the first to admit he would rather be inside him again--or have Tony fucking him; that'd be a new experience and he wants it--but this is as intimate, in its own way. He makes more noise this time around, moaning and gasping against the other man's skin, crying out when he comes.

"I'm here," he pants out, nuzzling into his hair as he starts to come down. "I'm here, Tony, I'm with you."

Not 'till the end of the line'. That was his and Bucky's line. But it's the same sentiment. Dangerously, devastatingly, frighteningly parallel.